


The Third of Two Options

by KananOrgana



Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergent, F/M, Gen, Jacen Solo Lives, fate of the jedi fix it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26820049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KananOrgana/pseuds/KananOrgana
Summary: Jaina doesn't slay Caedus. Jacen returns and is sent to prison to atone for his sins after Grand Master Luke Skywalker intervened on his behalf. But when Jedi start coming down with mysterious illnesses, the Jedi have to choice but to free Jacen so that he can assist them.Basically a retelling of FotJ that includes a "searching-for-redemption" Jacen
Relationships: Jagged Fel/Jaina Solo, Vestara Khai/Ben Skywalker (Star Wars Legends)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

Jaina Solo was never an expert at containing her emotions. She was like an ever-active volcano, always ready to burst. As a boy, Jacen Solo knew what would set his sister off. He could feel it. He’d always been able to feel what she felt through their twin bond and she’d always been able to feel what he felt. In many cases they were like a single being. They complemented each other well.

And then Jacen had pulled away. To Jaina, it felt almost like her twin brother had died. It tore her apart. She’d lost a massive part of herself even though he was still standing right next to her. She’d never been as skilled at concealing herself as he’d been. She felt nothing from him while he still felt  _ everything _ from her.

“THEN DIE ALREADY!” Jaina screamed, lunging for her brother. She quickly angled her lightsaber to deflect the lightning that Jacen---no,  _ Darth Caedus _ \-- shot her way. The Force surrounded her and she wasn't afraid of losing her footing. It was the fact that she was in a duel to the death with her dear twin brother that was breaking her. No, Jacen Solo was _ dead _ . Her brother was  _ dead _ and the twin bond was gone forever. 

Caedus dodged the strike with ease and he prepared himself for the next. He knew exactly where it’d be. Jaina tightened her grip on her lightsaber and lunged, then at the last second, swept her saber broadly in front of her, managing to singe Caedus’ cloak. 

Caedus growled. He wasn’t getting sloppy. He  _ never  _ got sloppy. It was Jaina. She’d found some way to weaponize whatever one-sided shreds still existed of their twin bond. Caedus felt the vast emptiness in Jaina’s chest and it caused him to falter, giving Jaina the extra time to bring her lightsaber hilt up into Caedus’ chin, resulting in a sickening crack. He held his bleeding chin and growled.

Then, in an instant, Caedus’ expression fell; not a trace of malice could be found on his newly gentle face. He jumped safely out of Jaina’s reach and deactivated his lightsaber, dropping to his knees. Jaina felt a trickle coming from their bond.

Jaina instinctively tightened her grip on her weapon. It was a trap. It had to be a trap.

“Jaina, _ please _ , let me warn Tenel Ka and Allana. They’re in danger. Let me do one last good thing. Let me save my family.”

“WE  _ ARE  _ FAMILY!” Jaina roared, tears flowing down her cheeks. It stung where it mixed with the blood on her flayed cheek. 

“Jaina,  _ please _ . I can’t lose Allana.” He sounded broken. Hollow. He sounded like the frightened boy she’d clung to when they’d gotten lost on the lower levels of Coruscant as a kid. He was genuinely afraid and that fear began to mix in with Jaina’s. She dragged her thumb across to the activation switch of her lightsaber, but didn’t press it.

Jaina swallowed hard and nodded. She couldn’t explain why. Love for what Jacen had once been? For what he could have been? Or out of weakness? “You flinch, you die.” She seethed.

“Thank you. Thank you, Jaina.” Tears welled up in Caedus’ eyes and he hung his head and for the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt her brother open himself up to her.

And what was more than that, his presence was one of light. She felt it again. She felt  _ Jacen _ . He was warm and light and all-encompassing. Jaina felt whole again for the first time in years.

Jacen tossed his lightsaber across the room. It hit the durasteel wall with a clatter and then all Jaina could hear was the roar of silence.

“I’m done. I’m done fighting.” Barely audible.

The display, paired with Jaina being able to feel the love pouring from Caedus--Jacen--and the fact that he was finally open to her again made her lower her own lightsaber and bind his hands together. She grabbed his chin and made him look at her. His eyes were a deep brown again and it took most of her will to refrain from crying.

“You understand you’ll be put on trial by the GA.” She said.

“I do.” Jacen replied shakily.

“Probably sentenced to death.”

“Yes.” Jacen began to tremble violently.

“Are you going to fight me on this?” Jaina tightened her grip on her brother’s chin and she felt him shift under the force of it. She remembered her lightsaber making contact there, so she loosened her grip, but only just so.

“No, Jaina. I’m aware that you more than possess the ability to kill me. I’d kill me if I were in your shoes.” He wheezed. He still needed a lot of Force energy to keep himself upright.

“You’ve tried.” Jaina laughed hollowly.

“I never tried killing you, Jaina. I would never do that. No matter how far gone, I’d never go to those lengths.” Jacen’s breathing became more and more uneven.

“I need your word.” Jaina demanded.

“You have it.” He croaked.

“As my brother. As Anakin’s brother.” Her voice cracked.

“You have it.”

“One foot out of line and I’m finishing what I started. Don't make me regret this.”

“I won’t, Jaina.”

Jaina let go of her brother and took a couple of steps back. She felt an outpouring of love and warning emanating from him and she was at least relieved to find out that he wasn’t lying. At least, not about wanting to save Tenel Ka and Allana.

And then he collapsed.

“Jacen, no!” Jaina shrieked and slid toward him. She pulled his head into her lap and ran her fingers through his hair as she cried.

From behind her, a voice cried, “Jaina? _ Jaina _ !” 

And then the world spun and faded to black.

###

Jaina’s vision returned some time later. Jag was holding her head in his lap, stroking her hair. Jaina was holding Jacen’s head firmly in her own lap. Blood covered half of one of her hands, but it was impossible to tell whose it was. Han and Leia stood a few meters away, horrified.

“Just put him under carbon freeze. Even he won’t be able to escape that.” Han said to a man Jaina didn’t recognize.

Then medics--a good six of them--hurried to the scene. Jaina started screaming the moment one came too close to pulling Jacen out of her grasp. That medic ended up against a wall. She shoved her back into Jag and sent him flying into a wall. The remaining medics surrounded her, but she merely tightened her grip on Jacen’s shoulder.

“Sedate her!” One yelled. 

Two medics lunged for her, but she was able to incapacitate them without even standing up.

And then a strong set of arms came from behind her and pinned her arms to her sides. Jacen rolled off of Jaina’s lap and she screamed, but it was too late. 

Everything went black again.

###

“Jacen!” Jaina yelled as she shot up off the examination table. She reached for the lightsaber than was not there.

###

Jaina left the medbay the next day. She’d done so before Jag or Han or Leia could come by and pick her up. She just needed to be  _ alone _ on the way back to her apartment. Which is where she fully intended on going.

Instead, half an hour later, Jaina was looking at the giant gates to the highest security hold center on all of Coruscant. But it wasn’t her walking inside. Not really. She felt like she was on autopilot. Just going through the motions, not really experiencing anything.

She didn’t say anything when he sat down on the other side of the glass. He turned on the comm, but didn’t say anything. The twins just stared at each other for a while in silence, but the bond between them was on fire.

She left without saying a single word to him that day.

###

Jaina returned to her apartment straight away. She walked to a sink and started washing her hands till they glowed a bright red. She kept scrubbing. Harder. And harder. 

She should have killed Jacen. That’s what she was supposed to do. She was Sword of the Jedi and it was her  _ duty _ to take him down.

_ But you did take me down _ , he’d say.  _ The Jedi were placed in a situation where the solution wasn’t clearly in front of you. The possibility of multiple outcomes eluded you. See, the Jedi are arrogant, too. _

“Jaina!” Came a shout that brought her out of her reverie. Jag set a bottle on the counter and rushed toward her to take her hands apart. With one hand, he turned off the water, then grabbed a towel. Slowly, gently, he dried Jaina’s hands.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” She said distantly.

Jag smiled softly. “That’s all right. I was kind of quiet.” He grabbed the bottle off the counter and held it so that she could see. “Got this from Daala once upon a time. Want a drink?”

Jaina grabbed the bottle by its neck and made her way into the living room. Moments later, a third of the bottle was gone. 

Jag slowly approached Jaina and unwrapped her fingers from the whiskey. He set it aside and knelt down to look Jaina in the eye. 

“I almost killed him, Jag.”

He just looked at her still-red hands.

“I was going to do it. I didn’t even see Caedus, I...I saw Jacen. From when we were on Yavin when he was still a little pudgy. I was still going to do it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Killing Jacen is to kill myself. I should have done it. He could have been tricking me. I should have put that blade in his heart but I couldn’t do it. Some part of me wouldn’t let me do it. I mean, I was  _ certain _ not killing him was the right thing at the time, but what if I’d been wrong?”

“You weren’t wrong.”

“What if I killed him and he really was surrendering? What if I didn’t believe him and killed him anyway?”

“Something had to be done, Jaina. You just managed to get lucky. Did you talk to your brother today?”

Jaina shook her head and reached for the whiskey. “I saw him. He talked, but I wasn’t listening. I didn’t really register it. I didn’t say anything to him.”

“Will you visit him again?”

“Yes, but not until after his conviction. I can’t deal with losing him again.” Her still-split lip stung as the alcohol ran over it.

“What do you remember him saying to you?”

“Nothing, really. My name. Sticks. Then he started talking about the old crystal snake he had at the Academy.”

Jag frowned. “He didn’t say anything about what he’s done?”

Jaina shook her head. “I think he’s trying not to make excuses. I’m glad he isn’t talking about it because if he was, I couldn’t stand it.”

“Can you face what he’s done?” 

Jaina shot Jag a look of disgusted disbelief.

“I walked onto the ship prepared to kill my twin brother, Jagged Fel. Don’t you dare question my ability to see the monster he became.” Jaina said in a dangerous growl Jag had no intention of ever hearing again.

“I’m sorry.” 

In an instant, her expression softened and she took a last sip of whiskey. Her energy was unrecognizable. Suddenly the air in the apartment was heavy nearly to the point of suffocation.

“There’s something I’m not wearing today, Jag. Let’s see how long it takes you to figure out what it is.” She tucked the whiskey beneath her elbow and stalked back toward her bedroom. 

“Jaina, you’re hurt. Badly. You need to be in a bacta tank right now. I don’t know how they let you out of the medbay.” Jag said gently. Jaina rolled her eyes and scoffed at him. 

“You’d think you’d need a stronger mind to work in those places.” Jaina mused. “I know exactly what I need, Jag. Now either help me or go home and I’ll make other arrangements.” Jag followed.

###

Jacen sighed. He hadn’t expected much from his first visit with Jaina. He hadn’t expected anything at all, much less for her to show up after probably--definitely--using a mind trick to get out early. Not that the last bit surprised Jacen.

But she’d shown up.  _ That _ was something. 

He sighed again and twirled the stylus a guard had given him between his fingers. He smoothed over a bacta patch on his side and leaned over his desk and began to write down everything he could remember regarding his five year journey across the galaxy to discover the long-forgotten secrets of the Force.

Whatever went wrong, Jacen was sure, was due in part to that. He needed to find out what that was and he needed to pass his knowledge onto Luke. As he wrote, he felt an eerie chill in the Force. He shuddered and coughed, then continued on working.

Jacen needed to begin to make things right.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jacen’s only requests have been for flimsi and a stylus.” Jaina said suddenly. She cut roughly into her nerf steak and took a bite. 

“And what do you think about that?” Luke asked, leaning back into his chair. Jaina shrugged and swallowed hard.

“I wish he’d do something to make me hate him. It’d be easier than...whatever I’m feeling now.”

“Jacen should take his stylus and stick it--” Ben growled.

“ _ Ben. _ ” Luke warned.

“Me too, Ben.” Jaina said, nudging her cousin. 

###

“You’re delusional.” Jaina said after staring at her brother for a few minutes in silence. She again couldn’t explain what brought her to visit Jacen, and that fact was slowly starting to annoy her.

“Then you’ll be glad to know they’re medicating me in here. “ Jacen replied coolly. 

“How can you sit there and act like nothing happened?”

“And how do you expect me to act? Angry? Violent? Do you want me to grovel, Jaina?”

“ _ Something.  _ Anything other than whatever the hell you’re doing right now.” Jaina was staring Jacen down, then, in one of her more intense “I’m not blinking until you get the point” moods.

“I can’t bring her back, Jaina. No matter how I react.” Jacen’s eyes fell to his clasped hands. He loosened the grip of his mechanical hand. He could tell it would take a while to get used to the change in strength.

“Fuck you.” Jaina spat. 

“Do you hate me?”

“Don’t.” Jaina’s voice broke. She swallowed hard and took a deep, shaky breath. “Don’t you dare, Jacen.”

Jacen nodded solemnly. Jaina hated it.

“You weren’t just my brother, Jace. You were my twin. We were supposed to be close. We were supposed to be  _ everything. _ ”

“And then I went and kriffed it up.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Jaina let out a small laugh despite herself. Something about Jacen cursing always amused her.

“I’m still your brother, Jaina. It’s still me.” Jacen said, barely audible.

“Don’t you dare say that.”

“I lost myself. I lost faith in the Order and the way I looked at the Living Force made me believe that death was inevitable. That a few lives were inconsequential if it guaranteed the good of all of the rest. I just lost my self restraint.”

“It wasn’t a few lives, Jacen! You’re responsible for the deaths for  _ millions _ !” Jaina left the prison without another word.

Jaina was back at the prison the next day, but it wasn’t due to a conscious effort. She left her apartment to go to her parents’ to see Jacen’s daughter Allana-- _ Amelia _ , she reminded herself-- but it was as if the Force itself guided her there.

“How’s Ben doing?” Jacen asked lightly.

“You killed his mother, for starters.”

Jacen nodded. “I killed a lot of people.”

“What the hell happened to you when you went off for five years? What turned you into Caedus? I don’t understand it.”

“It wasn’t that.” Jacen said quietly. “It was all me, and I’m not denying that, but when I was with Vergere...She said things. I started to think that when it came to all, the few didn’t matter. I had to pull weeds to keep the garden healthy.”

“And Mara was a  _ weed _ ?” Jaina hissed.

“No, Mara was an obstacle.” Jacen corrected. “She was the sacrifice.”

“I can’t look at you right now.” Jaina stood so abruptly her chair fell to its side with a loud clatter.

Jacen didn’t call after her.

###

“How are you healing?” Jacen asked.

“Flayed cheek aside, I think the broken ribs were a bit much.” Jaina said. 

Jacen smiled. “And cutting off my arm wasn’t?”

“Becoming a Sith Lord wasn’t a bit much?”

“Point taken. You don’t have to say anything, but I love you, Jaina. You’re the only one that’s visited me.”

Jaina ignored him. “This is going to be tied up in the courts for a while.” She said instead. 

“I’ll be surprised if I face my trial by the time Allana turns 10.” Jacen scratched the stubble on the side of his face absently.

“Have you thought about your defense? Did they assign you a lawyer yet?” Jaina took a sip of the half rate prison caf, though she wasn’t one to get picky when it came to caffeine.

“I’m waiving my right to a lawyer.” Jacen said firmly.

“ _ What _ ?”

“Justice isn’t going to be had by getting me some hotshot lawyer looking for a career boost. I need to pay, Jaina.”

“And you think the best way to do that is through spending the rest of your life in a cell.”

Jacen frowned and shook his head. “No, I didn’t say that. Something’s coming. Something big.”

Jaina balled her fists. “Is that some sort of threat?”

“No.” Jacen shook his head patiently. “I can feel it. And anyway, I know this trial is a show for the sake of the galaxy, but I’m not going to play along. I did what I did. I’m not going to try and excuse it. I’m guilty.”

“They’re going to kill you, Jace.”

“They’re going to kill me anyway. I warned Tenel Ka, Jaina. She’s safe. My  _ daughter _ is safe. That’s all I wanted. Thank you for that. I owe you everything.”

Jaina left feeling conflicted. She wanted justice, but she didn’t want Jacen to die and she had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her Jacen’s death would be the downfall of the galaxy.

  
  


###

Jacen woke with a start. He’d dreamt of Anakin again. He swallowed hard in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat but he failed. After Jaina’s visit the day before, he’d had a prosthetic arm attached to his stump, and while that helped with the phantom pains, he was still pretty tingly. He swung his legs over the side of his cot and he sighed. A quick glance at the chronometer told him it was still early. 

He sensed someone approaching, heard the boots clacking as the person walked down the hall. He steeled himself and stretched the fingers on his new hand.

“Solo.”

Jacen remained seated on the cot, but made eye contact with the guard.

“Someone in the galaxy must still care about monsters,” The guard said gruffly, “because Luke Skywalker and his Council have come out against a death sentence for you. Here’s to hoping you have a long, unnatural life.” The guard rapped on the door a few times before turning on his heel and coming back the way he came.

Jacen chuckled despite himself. People who thought Jacen was an idealist clearly didn’t know Luke Skywalker. Jacen knew in his heart that Luke shouldn’t have intervened, but he was thankful. Partially because Jacen didn’t want to die, but mostly because he knew he could now do what was expected of him. Or, at least, what people  _ hoped _ Jacen would do.

Jacen could atone.

He slid from the cot onto the floor and crossed his legs and slipped into a meditative state. 

Did Jacen deserve the mercy he was shown? No. Jacen didn’t think so. If anything, he thought Luke was being too emotional in his decision to spare him. It was one of his weaknesses.

Jacen physically shook his head to expel the line of thinking. He was  _ thankful _ for Luke. And though he had the same general line of thought extending toward Jaina’s decision to spare him, he was thankful for her, too.

He hesitated for a moment, then reached out in their bond. She was shutting him out, but she at least offered a “No.” before she did it.

Jacen was thankful.

###

“You’re  _ what _ ?” Ben roared.

“Sentencing Jacen to death isn’t going to bring her back, Ben.” Luke said calmly. “You’ll understand one day, but this was the right move. Trust me.”

###

  
  


Jacen spent the better half of the next two years as a model prisoner. He’d chosen to devote himself to his pacifism once again. He focused on his meditation and studies throughout his days and nights. 

He developed sleep troubles. His bad dreams turned into nightmares that turned into night terrors. Sometimes he dreamt that Jaina killed him, but his consciousness would go on to follow her for the rest of her life. Jacen was in the backseat of his best friend’s life and that, he felt, was the ultimate punishment.

Jaina visited him on a regular basis. For much of the first year of his imprisonment, she wouldn’t say much, if anything. They’d just sit in silence, but with them, the silence was deafening. There was an undeniable chasm between them, but Jacen was glad there was something to sense again.

He rarely allowed himself time to think about his sister during his time as Darth Caedus--the name was bitter like acid in his mind--because if he had, he wouldn’t have strayed that far to begin with. 

Jacen missed Allana.

###

Jacen grunted and set the weights he’d been lifting aside. Over the last two years, he’d devoted himself to his physical health as well as his spiritual health. He found that it helped immensely. He had a short beard now, nicely kept. Though every time he trimmed it, Vergere’s words about picking the weeds out of a garden played over and over in his head. 

One of his inmate friends called to him as he exited the recreation room. Jacen offered him a smile and wave, but it was time for his weekly visit with his sister, and this was one he’d been dreading all week. Jaina had informed him that Luke would be accompanying her, and Jacen was worried. 

“Hello, Jacen.” Luke smiled warmly--something about it made Jacen feel guilty. Images of Mara flashed in his head, but he gently pushed them aside.

“Uncle Luke.”

Luke sighed. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, but I’m at a loss and I believe you’re the only one who can help me.”

“Anything.” Jacen nodded excitedly.

“We’ve encountered something. A being of some sort. We have no indication that it’s a friend.” Luke closed his eyes tightly.

“It was me.” Jacen said after Luke finished talking. “I awakened this being, didn’t I?”

Luke didn’t answer. Jaina watched her brother closely as Luke spoke.

“You still have a choice, Jacen. If you assist us, your prison sentence will be commuted. But assisting us will put you at great risk. We cannot guarantee your survival.”

Jacen shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time, would it?”

“Jacen Solo, rise.”

Jacen swallowed hard and did as he was told.

“You will be released into the custody of your sister. However, from this day forth you are barred from holding rank in the government, military, or the Jedi Order.” Luke examined Jacen. “One foot out of line…”

“And my sister will put her lightsaber through my chest. I know.” Jacen grinned. Jaina remained silent until she, Luke, and Jacen arrived at her apartment. Luke saw to it that Jacen got settled in, then left.

“Yesterday someone told me I have Mom’s mouth.” Jaina said as she leaned in Jacen’s doorway. She was holding a box, but Jacen wasn’t focused on that.

Jacen snorted. “They have no idea.”

“Here. Take this.” 

“What is it?”

“You’re building a new lightsaber. This doesn’t mean you’re back in the Order, but we can’t send you in unarmed.” Jaina’s voice was stiff, “Everything you need is in there. Comm me when you’re done.”

“Does this mean a new adventure already?” Jacen asked excitedly.

“Try and keep that attitude after you’re briefed on this thing.”

###

Jacen chose a thick brown Jedi tunic. It made him look older and wiser than the kid who defeated the Yuuzhan Vong. He needed to feel like a Jedi again, even if he couldn’t technically become one. 

New lightsaber clipped to his belt, Jacen walked into the living room of Jaina’s-- _ their _ apartment. He made eye contact with Leia first as he timidly walked into view. It was his first time seeing either parent since his imprisonment. Han gave him a cursory glance, nothing more, but Jacen felt it was a step in the right direction. 

“What else do we know about this Abeloth?” Han asked. 

“Nothing. But it’s what’s making my Jedi sick--it has to be.” Luke replied.

“Nothing? How do we know nothing else? Is it really that bad?” Leia wondered aloud.

“It’s not a good or a bad thing. It just  _ is. _ ” Jacen answered. 

“The philosopher has returned.” Jaina rolled her eyes.

“It’s not me being a philosopher, Jaina. This thing, whatever it is...we can’t think of it as a good or a bad thing. We don’t know enough about it. And even if we did, regarding it in a moral light will do nothing to help us defeat it. We can’t look at this emotionally. We need to be tactical. It’s simply our reality right now and we need to focus on what’s at stake.”

“Jacen is right.” Luke said

“ _ You _ awakened this monster.  _ You _ will help destroy it.” Jaina said.

The end of the briefing came faster than Jacen had anticipated, and Jaina and Jacen were alone again.

“I still don’t trust you. I’m only doing this because Uncle Luke wants me to.” Jaina said quietly. She stood with her back to Jacen. Somehow it made Jacen feel worse. “If Anakin had seen what you pulled, he’d kriffing  _ hate _ you.” 

“Like you do?” 

Jaina laughed, but Jacen heard no mirth in it. “I don’t hate you, Jacen. That’s the worst part. I could never hate you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I just don’t like who you became.”

Jacen excused himself to his room to meditate on what he’d learned that day. Jaina waited until she was sure Jacen wouldn’t emerge from his room, then left for Jag’s apartment a few blocks away.

“Do you trust him?” Jag asked as soon as she walked in.

“Yes, and I hate myself for it. Jag, can I sleep here tonight? I know I’m supposed to keep an eye on Jacen, but I just need...you. You’re all that’s going to help me right now.” Jaina asked, defeated. 

Jag took her hand in his and smiled. “Always.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a real pain in the ass to write. It's been sitting in my drafts for weeks and nothing I did made it flow any smoother so I just ripped off the bandaid and posted it so I apologize for the all-dialogue clunkiness


End file.
